Day 12

Yesterday was my day off from work. It was time to get to work. The last couple of days had been filled with work and writing, and I hadn't given myself much time to research ways to barter in the area. I first checked Craigslist under the Free section, for the possibility someone was giving away some food. I searched through and saw a lot of ads for free couches and firewood. I also saw a posting for a free large bathroom mirror and inquired about it, thinking I could maybe do something creative with it and use it as a bartering tool.

I was about to give up the search for free food when I saw a listing titled *free peanut butter*. A woman was giving away 1 jar of unopened Smart Balance Chunky Peanut Butter. I sent her an e-mail hoping it was still available. She still had it! I had about a tablespoon of peanut butter left in my kitchen, so it worked out perfectly. I was driving into the city that day to spend some time with a good friend of mine, so I stopped by to get the peanut butter on the way. It was outside in a bag when I pulled up to the house. When I came home I sent her a thank-you note via e-mail, and she wrote back that she thought my project sounded interesting and good luck. She also gave me a website specifically for bartering called freecycle.org. I checked it out and found there are 1,739 members of the Freecycle Network in my city alone.
Jackpot.
I posted some things I had to barter, and a list of the things I needed.
I also found a bartering section on Craigslist. I posted a few items there as well, with the caption "call soon so I don't starve lol". This was a mistake.
I got a call from a woman. She wanted to give me her number if I needed help, and offered to give me some canned corn, green beans, and some other items. I took down her number and asked her what she wanted to trade. She told me she didn't want anything from me and she just wanted to make sure I had food and wasn't starving. I felt awful as I tried to explain the exaggeration in my post was meant as a joke and that I was not actually starving. When she finally understood what I was saying her tone turned to that of anger and I listened in stunned silence as she yelled at me over the phone for about 15 minutes.

She warned me not to post things like that and that there were crazy people on Craigslist that would get mad if they knew I wasn't really in trouble. I apologized again and again and told her I was changing my posts right then, but I had obviously really upset her and she just kept going.

So I started typing what she said...and it went something like this:

"you can make it really strong as a woman, because then the men will see that you are not jealous, stand up for yourself, not lean on anybody, I don't care if you have to mow some lawns (I thought that was ironic) or clean some bathrooms, I've seen it. Before you know it they're {immigrants} getting everything they want, living not like a rich person, they'll get the things that they really want and travel, because they are working these jobs some Americans won't do, they work hard. You can make it in this city, but be careful, people will try to hurt you. Beauty alone is pathetic, it is not what it is in your brain. It'll only take you so far and that's a quick spin in the bed and that is it. They{people who do business on Craigslist} go through these things and some are like a watch tower, if they found out what you just told me girl (I had told her I wasn't really starving and it was a poor choice of words, that I was doing a project and I was sorry for using that word) I cannot imagine what will happen to you. They are guards and this is they're kingdom and they guard the kings and queens"...

This was what happened. It shook me up.

I called her today and asked for her permission to put the things she said on my blog. She said yes and God bless and to be careful. I learned that the common term "I'm starving" is an incredibly insensitive thing to say. I have no excuse for it. The possibility of starving is a reality for countless human beings everyday, many right here in my own community. I also learned that being passionate, and being crazy, are sometimes hard to differentiate. Some people have told me I'm crazy for having a moneyless month, some might say the woman I spoke with on the phone sounded crazy. I'm not sure about that, but I can respect her passion, because I feel it connects us, it might even be what connects us all.