Day 8

Today is day 8. More importantly though, today is Mother's Day. Because I couldn't buy her a gift, I had offered to come visit and promised we would do whatever she wanted all day including helping her with anything she had on her to-do list. I got ready and headed down to see my Madre. This year, I had uncharacteristically decided to buy her a Mother's Day card a couple of weeks ago (instead of the traditional day of). I was happy I wasn't going to be completely empty handed. On the way there, I used the cruise-control and drove with the air off to save gas. When I arrived, my parents were discussing plans to renovate the kitchen. She had decided the trash compactor was taking up more space than it was saving so my dad was on the floor dislodging it from under the kitchen counter. Also, the dishwasher had finally had enough and had broken down a couple of weeks ago. The first thing I did was help carry the two old machines out of the house for good. We spent the rest of the afternoon driving around to various stores comparing granite counter tops and discussing whether or not to paint the cabinets or leave the wood grain exposed.

In the parking lot of Home Depot I pulled out a make-up compact and my mom complemented it. I told her I had bought it at Sephora last month during their grand opening at the mall I work at. She liked it so much she asked me if I could get one for her too.

*Mom, I can't spend money...* She explained she would give me cash and just have me buy the make-up so she wouldn't have to make the drive. I hadn't considered how buying something as a favor for someone fit into my moneyless month.

We decided to call Sephora to see if they would take a payment over the phone from my mom and I could just pick up the make-up the next day. They said they couldn't do that. My mom asked the woman how much it would come to....$21.11. She got out some cash and started counting out $21.11 exactly. I had gone over a week without a dollar in my hand. The thought of using money made me feel instantly uncomfortable. The only way I can describe it is a queasy feeling.

*I can't spend money. Not even if it's your money* She was frustrated by my logic and explained it could be a way to barter, goods for a service. She offered to buy me some food if I took her money and bought the make-up for her. It was really hard trying to explain why I couldn't do it. Especially because it was Mother's Day, especially because I needed food, and especially because I didn't even know exactly why I felt couldn't do it. I thought about this for a long time today.

So here is the reasoning: This is a Moneyless Month. I was shocked at my own negative reaction to the idea of simply using money, not specifically my own, but just money in general. I basically want to learn more about the psychology behind my project.

I offered that she take my make-up until June when I can buy her one. She said no, that she didn't want to take mine, but I put it in her purse anyway. ;) Despite the minor dispute over the make-up, the rest of the day was spent laughing a lot, doing our nails, and watching the endings of Sweet Home Alabama and Titanic on T.V. It has been a while since I spent this much quality time with mom, and I'm convinced today will be a lot more memorable for us than whatever I bought her last year.